I Hate Valentine’s Day (2009) Movie Review

I Hate Valentine’s Day (2009)

Movie Review by Debbie Winkler

Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Stephen Guarino, Amir Arison, Zoe Kazan
Director: Nia Vardalos
Release Date: 27 June 2009
Language: English
Length: 98 minutes
Movie Rating: PG-13
View Format: DVD
My Rating: 1/5 stars

Synopsis:

“After falling in love onscreen in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Nia Vardalos and John Corbett reteam for a romantic comedy about a florist (Vardalos) who persuades a restaurateur (Corbett) to take a gamble on a no-strings-attached relationship. Vardalos, who also penned the screenplay, makes her directorial debut with this Valentine’s Day-themed love story that crams the action into a single day: February 14.” — Netflix.com

Review:

I was bitterly disappointed in this movie. I am pretty hard on romantic comedies as they usually are not that funny, but this one was just a total waste of time. I loved My Big Fat Greek Wedding and I hoped that, as the 2 leads returned for this movie, that this one would retain just a bit of the charm and comedy of the other movie. It did not. I was wondering why I hadn’t really heard of this movie before and, after watching the first 30 minutes or so, I can tell you that it got no buzz because there was no one who wanted to admit that they watched this movie! I had to turn it off after slogging through the first 30 minutes of the movie, I just couldn’t sit through any more!

I did not like the characters in this movie. Nia Vardalos is supposed to be this single, savvy businesswoman who dates a man for exactly 5 dates and then breaks up with him so that she will not be disappointed and will have fond memories of the relationship. Okay, that just sounds stupid as I type it here, but that is really her character. She runs a flower shop with 2 extremely gay assistants, who are present to enable them to drag out every cliche & bad joke about gay male florists that they could find. Oh, and they are completely incompetent, too and flirt with anything that breathes who comes in the door. Yeah, that is funny. John Corbett reprises his role from Greek Wedding in that he is a clueless, laid-back guy looking for some love. He finds out his girlfriend is cheating on him, his best friend is a self-absorbed jerk who gives horrible advice and he has decided to quit his job as a lawyer to open a Tapas restaurant in the neighborhood. Then there are the supporting cast of characters who are weird, clueless and are somehow supposed to be funny. Mmm-hmm. Didn’t laugh once. Didn’t come close to laughing. Shut off the movie when John Corbett’s character shouts down the street that he wants to have sex with Nia Vardalos’s character as his friend told him that chicks like assertive men. That is the kind of humor we are dealing with her. And I use the word “humor” very loosely. Yeah, just skip this one altogether. I am hoping to blot it from my memory very soon!

Content:

This movie contains quite a bit of sexual content, including crude jokes, discussions of when to have sex with someone – or not – and cheating significant others. Most of the cast are portrayed as weird losers and there is some brief strong language. Really, the movie is pretty clean, it just isn’t worth watching – by anyone! Appropriate for viewers ages 12 and up.

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Filed under Romantic Comedy Movies

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